I'm in no way different to many of you out there in that' since the beginning of December, I've gradually been eating more and more of the most deliciously sugary, silky rich, fabulously fattening, heart-attack-in-a-pack foods. I've been drinking more and more wonderfully rich, "hoppy" ales, downing famously wife-beating, argument inducing lagers and ciders, whilst experimenting with unimaginably vile tasting, liver enlarging alcoholic concoctions I would never, EVER dream of drinking at any other time. I've been socialising more and more and more thereby spending a stupefying amount of cash on this orgy of self-abuse!And you know what? I've enjoyed every cake munching, chocolate gorging, booze slurping stupidly slurring minute of it.
After all, this annual spike in gastronomic activity can absolutely be justified by simply spouting that guilt-freeing and immortal phrase -
"Ahh go on!....It's Christmas!!!" And why not? Don't we all train hard five or six days a week and eat a healthy and nutritious diet for the other eleven months in the year? Shouldn't we be allowed to abstain from the healthy and wholesome and indulge in the depraved and decadent for just a little while?
Oh! What was that? You don't ALL train hard and eat properly for the rest of year!! I'm shocked! (Just a slight hint of sarcasm). Well maybe that's where we may differ just a little then.
With New Year's Eve 2013 just three days away at the time of writing, there are millions of people, including some of you reading this, already resolving to make 2014 the year that they lose "X" amount of weight, get super fit, earn more money, stop listening to bloody awful dance music and drop the crack habit. Money, music and drug preferences aside, let's look at getting into shape and the inevitable search for the appropriate gym, miracle diets and supplements.
By now you've done extensive research - #GOOGLED - and found the perfect diet for you. Yep! (these are all real by the way), the Acai, Cabbage Soup, Liquid Only, Purple, Tapeworm Diet is your guaranteed quick and easy way to the perfect body. Others amongst you will be duped by knowledgeable sounding "Nutritional Experts" / RODENTS from "GerbilLife" and the like into wasting inordinate amounts of your hard earned cash buying their cleverly branded and by and large completely useless miracle supplements.
As soon as the new year arrives you're going make the annual pilgrimage along with thousands of other "best-intentioners", to join an awesomely equipped, sexily lit, air-conditioned gym, incessantly blasting mind-numbing, perfect-for-the-excitement-of-the-treadmill...... DANCE MUSIC!!!. Then when you've actually made the commitment and signed on the dotted line, the only thing that gets lighter is your bank account as the monthly fee with a six month tie-in period drains from your account, whilst you continue to tell yourself..... 'I'll start tomorrow'.
Those that actually ever make the effort and get to the gym will be inducted by orange skinned, Glo-White toothed, super-toned and amazingly qualified staff. Usually fresh out of college, with hardly any real coaching knowledge or experience this Dale Winton/Katie Price double will also try to convince you that the vast array of: protein powders, amino-acids, fat-burners, pre-workout, post-workout, pre-bedtime, as-soon-as-you-get-up-in-the-morning potions, are the secret to their shape-success........ Ooh hang on....I can feel a sneeze coming...ah ah AH AHH AHHhhhhBULLSHIT!!!
And what of the ten percent of you that actually stick to your specially personalised, nay, "bespoke" training program and reach your set goals? What then? New goals of course! Your new personalised....SORRY.... "bespoke" training program will tell you to: run a little bit further and do it a little bit faster, lift a little bit more, get a little bit bigger or smaller, spend another small fortune on supplements whilst you grow more and more orange by the day. Or will you simply be content that you've achieved that which you set out to do and then little by little slip back into your old habits until, eventually and inevitably, you're back to square one.
Okay, I may have been a little bit harsh on gyms there (but not on GerbilLife). There are some fantastic gyms out there with incredible equipment and wonderful staff.
But let's face it here, the majority of you heading for that gym on the 2nd January 2014 are just going to waste a heap of money and just after blowing ridiculous amounts of cash on Christmas. So please allow me to suggest an alternative way to stay fit, healthy and active long into your grey years. If you're already in your grey years and getting a little hard of hearing - THIS STILL APPLIES TO YOU SO KEEP READING!
First of all, don't go wasting hundreds of pounds of your hard earned cash on absolutely pointless supplements. Use that money to go out regularly and buy good, clean, wholesome, fresh foods..... LOADS OF IT!! Vegetables, lean meats, nuts, delicious fruits and berries are available all year round and at very reasonable prices if you take the time to look around. The added bonus of eating clean is that you can eat MORE and still lose weight provided you're willing to take the twenty or so minutes it takes to prepare a decent meal. Anyone that says buying fresh wholesome food is expensive or gives you the 'Who has time to cook these days' line, is talking complete and utter rubbish, is plain lazy or may have the ulterior motive of being a GerbilLife salesman or gym proprietor.
There is one caveat to my views on supplements:
They can be a great source of vital nutrients for the poorly and when you simply cannot fit a decent meal in to a part of your day.
When it comes to exercise, if you are one of those people who enjoy running, lifting, pedalling, pulling etc. and your aim is to constantly improve on times, lifts and repetitions, well, all power to you. I do all those things as well and to a certain extent enjoy it. However, my main reason for doing all those things has always been to supplement my main pass-time of Karate and Martial Arts which, in 2014 I will have been practising for a total of forty three years. Forty Three Years! If I stay fit and continue to train to at least my Dad's age, who by the way, at seventy five years old is still training hard in Karate, I will have been practising Martial Arts for seventy one years!! I could potentially be training into my eighties giving me a Martial Arts career spanning over eight decades!!!And here is my point - I'm still learning every day. My father, considered by many a master of his art, after over half a century doing it, is still learning every day. Be it Karate, Muay Thai, BJJ or Wrestling; every day each Martial Art I practice, brings to light something about the other that I didn't see before, constantly stimulating and exercising my mind as well as my body. I just cannot think of another sport or physical activity that continually evolves as much as, or allows anybody, no matter their body type or age, to remain fit, healthy and active literally for life as the Martial Arts does.
I know many of you reading this have passed by a dojo door or window, peered in and thought about having a go but have then made all the usual excuses about being too old, feeling stupid or just being too afraid to enquire. You have to remember that everyone you can see through that dojo window was exactly the same as you when they first started. In a good club, everyone through that dojo window wants you to come in, enjoy and improve yourself and everyone through that dojo window will help you to achieve that improvement and bring that enjoyment.
So on the 31st. December, when you make your New Years resolution to lose weight, to get fitter and to get healthier. Resolve to make a change that will last a lifetime and not just a few months. Make your New Years Resolution to make a start in Martial Arts.
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